Sexpertise
Drop and give me 20!
November 9, 2009
Dear Sexpert: I heard about this exercise called a “cock pushup.” Could a man actually be capable of doing this!? If so, how many should one be able to do in order to please a woman?—Aspiring Tripod
Dear Aspiring Tripod: How can you not love Jack Black and his band, Tenacious D? The amazing cock-pushup myth began from their song of the same name, which describes a cock pushup as “when you lay on your stomach and lift yourself off the ground with nothing but your boner.”
Wouldn’t that be a special party trick? Or, even better, part of a circus side show? I would pay good money to see such a feat, but I’m here to tell you it’s not possible. There is no muscle in the penis. It becomes engorged with blood, and that’s what makes it hard. If I’m wrong, and there is someone out there who can do a cock pushup, come by the Center for Health Promotion and Wellness, and give me a demonstration. We can blow this popsicle stand, take your amazing feat on the road, and make ourselves rich!
And don’t forget, Aspiring Tripod, even if you’re just practicing on the living room rug, slap a jimmy on that skillful schlong, just to be safe.—Sexpert
Information contained in Sexpertise is intended solely for general educational purposes and is not intended as professional medical advice related to individual situations. Always obtain the advice of a qualified healthcare professional if you need medical diagnosis, advice, or treatment. Never disregard medical advice you have received, nor delay getting such advice, because of something you read in this column.
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